10 Bad Names

Why these parents thought it was a good idea, I’ll never know.

1. Rusty Pipes (Airway Heights, WA) – Rusty always felt his parents pressured him to take over the family plumbing business a little too early in life.
2. Mercedes Benz (Cypress, TX) – Who knew that the famous Janis Joplin song was actually about human trafficking?
3. Phil McCracken (Weed, CA) – How many wedgies a day do you think poor Phil got at school? 10? 20? Let’s just pray he never goes to jail.
4. Dusty Rhodes (Ada, OK) – In Oklahoma there are plenty of dusty roads but only one of ‘em is a person.
5. Anita Morehead (Garland, TX) – This should be considered child abuse. I’m not kidding.
6. Pierce E Paine (Columbia, MD) – The best thing Pierce can do is become a doctor or go by Mr.
7. Mary Christmas (Americus, GA) – There are actually quite a few Mary Christmas’s so all you parents who think you’re being funny & clever… you’re not. It’s been done. A LOT.
8. Dear Beloved (Placida, FL) – How badly do you hope their middle mane is Lee?
9. Candy Cain (Chicago, IL) – Do you suppose her parents were surprised when their precious little girl grew up to become a stripper?
10. Mary Juana (Ligonier, PA) – Please Mary, just one last dance? I’d almost be willing to pay for Mary to move next door to Phil from #3, or at least in the same town…